Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What’s Freaking Me Out Now

Karl Rove, echoed by many other Republican talking heads, tells us that investigating torture (not torturing itself) is the moral equivalent of a military dictatorship.

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Business students in India are reading Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf to pick up on the Fuhrer’s management techniques—10,000 copies of the book have sold in the last six months in New Delhi alone.

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Within a month, two American fifth-graders, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover and Jaheem Herrera, hanged themselves after being taunted for being perceived as gay—after guardians of the boys pleaded with school officials to take action against bullying by other school children.

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Our new friends and allies in the Middle East, the Iraqi militia, reportedly are gluing shut the anuses of arrested homosexuals and then forcing them to drink a diarrhea-inducing drink, causing an excruciating death. These vicious acts, currently numbered at 60, stem from recent religious decrees demanding the death penalty for homosexuality.

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Sci-fi author and Mormon Times columnist Orson Scott Card has joined the board of the anti-same-sex-marriage, anti-homosexual National Organization for Marriage (NOM)—last July he wrote, “Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down.”

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