Friday, May 28, 2010
Thank-You Notes to Moderate Homophobes
First, let me say thank you for loving me, the sinner, while hating my sex life, the sin. Unfortunately, if that show of moderation is meant to coax me into accepting your Posturepedic concept of an afterlife, I have to tell you that, of all the things I have that I would want to take with me to your celestial city, the number-one pick (besides my dog) would be that particular sin.
Still, compared to the stoning to death dictated by your beloved book of Leviticus (perhaps inerrant in every respect except its views on shellfish, menstruation, and men with one testicle). your own modern temperance is indeed admirable. And so I take it as a safe assumption that probably you would not want your wife, should she turn a sympathetic eye towards my own ultimate damnation, to be turned into a pillar of salt.
Kudos to you and your big heart.
Some of your friends are gay? Wonderful. It says so much about them that they would be.
You have nothing against gays? I can appreciate that. If people want to be gay, let them. Well spoken. How could we ever thank you enough?--and I speak on behalf of all of us.
But one question, if there really is nothing wrong with gay people, why are you opposed to gay adoption on the (I have to be honest here) unlikely assumption that same-sex parents might turn children gay (even though the majority of gay people were birthed and raised by straight parents, many of whom tried over many years to instill anti-gay sentiments in their children)?
What's the problem with gay children ... if, um, you have nothing against gays?
How very thankful I am, too, that you would consider my human rights "special." Or that you would fight to the death for my right to choose to whom or what I am sexually attracted! You probably know so much more about this than I do, but if all that was a choice, I think somebody forgot to tell that to my cock.
Posted by Joe at 12:48 PM