25 Reasons I Love Old Tarzan Movies

1. loin cloths (especially those in the pre-Code Tarzan and his Mate)
2. the Tarzan yell 
3. wrestling
4. near naked natives
5. hungry crocodiles crawling into the murky river 
6. the creepy, smoky juju cave in Tarzan Escapes (minus, alas, the lost footage of giant human-bat creatures, who devour the majority of Tarzan's party--a scene studio chief Louis B. Mayer deemed too gruesome for exhibition)
7. the Ganelonis' use of crisscrossed trees to rip poor captives into halves
8. elephant stampedes
9. quicksand 
10. enough steamy sex dream imagery to keep a whole company of Freudian psychoanalysts at work for the next 20 years
11. natives falling off the Mutia Escarpment 
12. giant spider webs
13. vine-swinging
14. the sounds of the jungle at night 
15. the surrealism of out-of-scale rear-screen projections
16. roaring waterfalls 
17. Johnny Weissmuller's unruly hair
18. underwater canoodling 
19. "A Cannibal Carnival" (music score by Sol Levy)
20. bans on firearms
21. animal rights
22. Cheeta
23. the tree house, with plumbing, elevator, and ceiling fans 
24. the elephants' burial ground
25. cute baby lion cubs that you had better just leave alone