Saturday, September 18, 2010

25 Reasons I Love Old Tarzan Movies

  1. loin cloths (especially those in the pre-Code Tarzan and his Mate)
  2. the Tarzan yell 
  3. wrestling
  4. near naked natives
  5. hungry crocodiles crawling into the murky river 
  6. the creepy, smoky juju cave in Tarzan Escapes (minus, alas, the lost footage of giant human-bat creatures, who devour the majority of Tarzan's party--a scene studio chief Louis B. Mayer deemed too gruesome for exhibition)
  7. the Ganelonis' use of crisscrossed trees to rip poor captives into halves
  8. elephant stampedes
  9. quicksand 
  10. enough steamy sex dream imagery to keep a whole company of Freudian psychoanalysts at work for the next 20 years
  11. natives falling off the Mutia Escarpment 
  12. giant spider webs
  13. vine-swinging
  14. the sounds of the jungle at night 
  15. the surrealism of out-of-scale rear-screen projections
  16. roaring waterfalls 
  17. Johnny Weissmuller's unruly hair
  18. underwater canoodling 
  19. "A Cannibal Carnival" (music score by Sol Levy)
  20. bans on firearms
  21. animal rights
  22. Cheeta
  23. the tree house, with plumbing, elevator, and ceiling fans 
  24. the elephants' burial ground
  25. cute baby lion cubs that you had better just leave alone

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