If you can't explain how highways will be built, armies furnished, fires put out, and flood victims rescued with your economic policies in place, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you think a minimum wage is the government overstepping itself but restrictions on who can marry whom is constitutional, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you think the Bill of Rights and the Supreme Court exist to protect the rights of the majority and promote the tenets of the nation's most popular religion, most of whose adherents can not get along with each other, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you think that health care and education are luxuries for the wealthy, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you applaud the deaths of prisoners who may or may not be guilty and the drawn-out suffering of poor people who cannot afford health care, but then you can cry real tears over little white children having to take a long bus ride to school, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you sit back and let your constituents boo an American soldier stationed in hostile territory because he has asked a question about something he believes in but you and your kind do not, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you are "not a racist" BUT never complained about the excessive powers of the Presidency until Barack Obama's candidacy, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If the nicest thing your opponents can say about you is that you look good on camera and "probably" have the nation's best interests at heart, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you think a man with a net worth of $39 billion is a socialist and a man on his third wife, after he cheated on the first two, is a defender of marriage, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you think fascists tax the super-rich and oppose bullying, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you think the Boston Tea Party was mainly a protest against the very idea of government, you might be a tea-party candidate.
If you believe that marijuana kills more people than guns, you might be a Tea Party candidate.
ReplyDeleteIf you call yourself a Christian and believe that the Bible preaches protecting the wealthy and powerful, you might be a Tea Party candidate.
I'm beginning to feel like making fun of these people is just too easy...