How I Work

How Stuff Works has horoscopes, believe it or not. So according to astrologer Jill Phillips, here's how I, born on March 25, work, in italics, along with my commentary on same:

An Aries born on March 25 is naturally shy, even though they possess the ability to shine at any gathering. At times, they display strong social skills and may be the life of the party. But in reality these individuals draw strength from a rich and creative inner life.

The shy part is on target, but I can't recall ever being the life of a party. I do like positive attention, though, but apart from captive audiences in a theater or classroom, I'm usually at a loss how to draw it. "Rich and creative inner life" is right too, especially as a euphemism for pornographic fantasizing and daydreaming boys'-own-adventure stories featuring me and my dog, Tom Ripley, usually set in outer space.

Given their emotional depth, it isn't unusual that March 25 people express much of their energy through relationships. They may have a great many social friends but few close ones. Although their love life is often turbulent, romance is always their primary form of experience. They are able to bring out the best qualities in a loved one.

I have never been accused of being emotionally deep. Typically the number of my close friends comes close to equaling that of my social friends. My social circles have always been fairly small, consisting of people I generally prefer interacting with in small groups or one on one.

Sex is a huge motivator for me. I am pretty much obsessed with the subject of sexuality, in particular my own sexuality. It's always been an obsession with me and, on occasion, a compulsion.

"Turbulent" is a nice word for my love life, if one understands the word to mean "disturbed," "disruptive," and "potentially violent." I do bring out the best in my loved ones, though, usually at the point they walk out the door forever.

March 25 individuals usually develop a social life outside of the family circle. However, they do not expect their children to follow in their footsteps. They much prefer championing independent-minded youngsters who have the determination to go their own way.

As a non-parent, I can speak only as a teacher here, and as a teacher I am slavishly devoted to fostering independent-minded critical thinkers, even those who take strongly conservative, puritanical, and corporate-capitalist positions, i.e. in every way opposite my own deeply felt values. I think it's safe to assume I would be much the same as a parent, though I can imagine that, with my own flesh and blood and/or namesake, I might be a little more prone towards micro-management.

March 25 natives often flout conventional wisdom about health and fitness. They pride themselves on being able to get by with little sleep. They lead an active dream life and need to funnel their problems and stresses through dreaming.

This is very true of me. I'm a terrible patient when sick and generally impervious to good advice on diet and exercise. I eat and do pretty much what I like and find it difficult to embrace any sort of regimen.

And I don't like to sleep, and the only excuse for sleep, in my opinion, is to dream, and my dreams tend to be vivid, both Technicolor-y and Kafkaesque, impractical in the extreme and inimical to calm and restfulness.

People born on this day have a strong desire to be famous. Since fame is not always possible, many of these individuals are satisfied with being widely known within a circle of colleagues.

The best I can say about this point is what I have already said: that I enjoy attention, though I'm queasy about the usual strategies for garnering it. Also, I blog, and the self-promoting and self-absorbed natures of blogging are especially clear in the entry you are now reading.

There are few goals that March 25 people cannot achieve. Goals take on the weight of a quest, and dreams become vivid and dramatic. They inspire others by the grandeur of their hopes and dreams.

Though I occasionally inspire (or am told I inspire) the occasional student, I can't say that I am naturally a motivator. I am usually more goal oriented than process oriented, but in the areas of life for which most people set definite goals, say career paths, investments, and long-term relationships, I am just the opposite: process oriented to the point of apparent indifference over where I'm heading.

I am a dreamer, though, as already emphasized, and can usually be counted on to provide a quirky perspective, which others find humorous or perceptive or impertinent ... or, on occasion, inspirational.

You should embrace: Positive outflow, emotional resonance, being young at heart

You should avoid: Pessimism, looking backward instead of forward, being sullen

Amen, to all that.