Friday, November 16, 2007


since my choices for party candidates are never among the 'viable' 'front runners,' i'm thinking of taking a new tack with my voting practices. rather than sighing + choosing the 'lesser of two evils' or throwing up my hands + simply refusing to vote, i'm considering pretending that i'm voting for class president. it would lessen the stress for me. i don't have to think about the heavy issues like iraq, the economy, human rights, + the environment. instead, i can focus on who's going to look best on the front page of the yearbook + throw the best prom.

hillary--o.k. she tries too hard (kind of like reese witherspoon in 'election'), but her husband seems like a real party kind of guy + they do make a kinda 'cute' couple. i figure the two of them must have done something right in raising chelsea, who seems poised + sane (the same cannot be said for the bushes)--naming her 'chelsea,' in fact, makes them kind of cool, + rather than hosting a gospel tour of south carolina, she posed for the cover of the advocate, some weeks ago.

barack--yes, i still hold a grudge over the gospel tour thing. also, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would have ever spoken to me in high school. he's kinda busy being jesus + all. i could be wrong but i suspect he wouldn't throw a particularly fun party, though the fact that he has 'inhaled' is sort of promising.

john edwards--there you have it. two names. it takes two names before anybody knows whom you're talking about. he's not especially boring. not as good looking as everybody seems to think he is, even after removing the bump from his upper lip (which, truth be told, was a distinguishing feature on a rather bland face, even if it did pose a challenge to smiling vacantly).

chris dodd--see 'john edwards' above, minus the lip-thingy remark. i think dodd may in fact be the candidate who would do the best job as president ... of the senior class or of the united states. he takes responsibility. he seems the kind of guy who's capable of getting things done, + seems sincere about keeping his promises. still, is he popular enough?

kucinich--my old favorite. i think earnest geeks make terrific student body presidents, especially ones who support same-sex prom royalty + promise to bring the football team home from iraq. hanging out with shirley maclaine while watching for ufo's + having a wife young enough to work the window at mcdonald's only testify to the fact that this guy is more than what he appears (which is, let's face it, like a supporting cast member on mayberry rfd). i envision paint-ball battles at the inauguration ... not a criticism.

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