Wednesday, January 16, 2008

New Definitions

BELIEF, n., [bee-leaf]--unverifiable certainty

CHASTITY, n., [chass-tih-tee]--comfort found in genital loneliness

ENTHUSIASM, n., [en-thooz-ee-az-m]--any kind of nuttiness performed with a great amount of energy

FUN, n., [ph-uh-n]--state of oneness with one's instincts

IMAGINATION, n., [ih-ma-jin-eh-shun]--special eyeglasses for seeing the not yet possible

PRAYER, n., [preh-yer]--monologue performed with or without an audience, ostensibly in celebration of things being just the way they already are, with occasional eruptions of hysterical discontentment

PLAY, n., [puh-lay]--practice and performance of fun

PURITY, n., [pyoor-ih-tee]--state of having mentally and spiritually flayed oneself alive, usually at the instigation of unwisely acquired mentors

RACE, n., [rayss]--pseudo-scientific, often arbitrary classification of human beings into groups, analogous to "BREED" for dogs and horses

SIN, n., [sih-n]--see "FUN"

SUCCESS, n., [suck-sess]--envy and the high regard of those who do not love you

WORK, n., [werk]--eternal damnation fractured into bite-size bits

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